Summerliness

We went to the mall with my aunt today.  I haven't been in a mall in a while, and it seems that each visit is worse than the last.  Our culture is not a passive culture -- it's a jump-on-you-and-beat-you-up-with-a-club culture.  All the stores sell all the same clothes, all the clothes cover less than they show, and all the songs are about sex and are played way too loud.  And all the pictures?  They all say the same thing: you have to look like this.  You're a failure if you don't look like this.  If you can't fit into these clothes, there's something wrong with you.  If you do have a nice body, you should show it off.  It's abominable.  The culture appears set on making the 95% of us who don't look like models feel absolutely miserable (and disgusted).

On the plus side, though...cute new shoes!  (It's been a while since I had any of those.)

I'm going to start reading Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art by Madeleine L'Engle.  I'm very interested to see what it's like, since I've been a fan of her books for years and happen to be a writer (and a Christian) myself.

Peeking into The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron again has given me a revelation.  The reason this break from writing has lasted forever is because I don't need just a break: a need a full-scale recovery operation.  I need to go back to basics, ditching all my lofty goals and plans in order to simply rehabilitate my creative side.  In other words, I need to play.   So that's what I've been doing this week, and I've discovered something interesting: my creative self is still there.  It just afraid of things like "Oh, that doesn't count.  You didn't even finish it," or, "Goodness, you will look like a complete numbskull if you write the story that way."

So right now, me and my creative self are mostly hanging out in coffee shops that don't exist and giving cute imaginary cats names like Lord Ivywood.

Oh, and apparently I made several people very happy by inventing the word snickergiggles. 

Anyone attempting to claim that my brain is in any way ordinary shall be tossed out on their ear for obstinately ignoring the obvious. 

And at last, something that is NOT a book review!

You know how I write my posts?  I generally start out with either an excuse or a disclaimer.  Or both.  (Example: I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while, but I've been really busy.  This isn't going to be the most interesting blog post, so forgive me again while I ramble on...)  If I'm smart, after I've finished the post, I delete the disclaimer, and that action alone makes the post 50% better.


The last time I posted something that wasn't a book review (or a random video about pendulums) was in February. 

Since then, I transformed into a medieval villainess and terrorized an entire band of hobbits (with a few elves thrown in on the side).  I've also run around in circles barefoot, won prizes for constructing towers of plastic cups, started a vicious water-fight, met friends from far-off lands, changed churches, and watched Singing in the Rain. 

I've also rediscovered how to write bad freeverse that sounds generally sappy and forlorn.  So I guess you could say I'm back to languishing in the shadow of 'poetic,' because I'm not yet up to chasing down the Poetic and confronting it face-to-face. 

I'm not quite done with my schoolwork yet.  I am keeping my fingers crossed in hopes that I'll have it all done by next Saturday when I take the SAT.  And after that is over.... FREEDOM!

Freedom means:

• A for-real return to writing things longer than 1,000 words, with characters I actually made up out of my own head.  
• Reading!  Books and books and books and books and books!  
• Learning to cook.
• Learning to drive.  (Oh dear.)
• Doing other things that I can't think of at the moment.
• Oh yeah, exercising.  In fun ways, though, not in boring ways.  (Like running on the treadmill.  The less I have to do that, the better.  It's so much more fun to run when you can be distracted: "Oh look, TREES!  And MORE trees!  Was that a butterfly?  Happy day, sun is shining, birds are singing, the clouds look cool, la la-la la-la...)  
• ...and last on the list because it is most important to whoever is reading this (er, kinda), I will be blogging more.  

TA-DA!  *strikes a ta-da pose*

And now, gentle reader, lest I fall to the temptation to put a disclaimer at the end of this post, I shall now leave you to your blissful whatever-you-were-doing. 

I think it was Authorial Indecision, in the Closet, with a Bad Haircut.

And now, because I cannot think of a single topic worthy of an entire blog post, how about a bombardment? 

1. I would like to join Inkpop.  I need to ask permission of my parents before I can join any site (family rules), and I know that if I asked I would most likely get a yes, but I've put off posing the question. 

Why?  Whenever I visit the site and browse the forums, I wish I was a member. 

But at the same time, I don't feel ready yet.  For one, I don't have a story that's in good enough condition to post on there.  And for another, I want to be sure that I'm not jumping into something that ends up being a drain on my energy and doesn't add anything to my life.  I've had enough of those experiences, and I want to break away from my habit of over-committing myself.

On the other hand, I would like to be involved on a site where I could exchange reviews and work on refining my craft without worrying so much about running into evil adult writers.  (And no, I'm not talking about stalkers.  I'm talking about adults with trashy minds who write what's in their heads.)  At least with a teen-oriented site there might be a little more quality control than, say, FictionPress.  (I have an account on there and was looking at getting involved, but as soon as I started posting on one of the forums, I looked around and realized I'd thrown myself into a crowd that might say adult things at any moment.)  

So... I don't know.  I'm still debating. 

2. Meanwhile, I have my little Writing Conscience in the back of my mind jumping up and down and screaming, "FINISH EM!!!!"  So perhaps my struggles in coming up with a brand-spanking-new story for Inkpop are deserved, since I'm being unfaithful to the story that really deserves to be worked on. 

("Deserves," scoffs the inner editor -- or Inner Ed, as I like to call him.  "Bah.  What a misapplication of a perfectly good word.  Or have you forgotten about the poor characterization, lack of description, contradictions, structural faults, boring chapters, unrealistic dialogue..."  And on he goes.  I can't wait for NaNoWriMo when I get to tie him up and lock him in my Trunk of Things To Be Stringently Ignored.)

3. Oh yes, EM?  Going well, if you can say that about a story where the two main characters just lost their wits and got in a fight without my permission.  Since from certain points of view character rebellion is a good sign, I'm taking it as such -- even if the 'good sign' does involve me hanging on for dear life and wondering where this is going to end up...